How to stop caring and begin living your truth

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Are you avoiding starting that business because you are afraid of what others will say? Or do you want to go back to school and become a technician? Are you worried about what your family will think? Or, what if your boss finds out? 

And lastly, are you that person who cares deeply for others’ opinions to the point that it prevents you from taking action on things you want to do? Say it’s picking up a new dance class or starting cooking classes. 

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I’d be naive to say that someone else’s opinion should never get to you. It will. That is okay. 

But what this blog post is about today is not letting the fear of what others think or the words they actually say to you, stop you from following your heart. This is how to stop caring about others, today.

I want to break down four problematic statements and why you should not listen to them. Then, I’ll tell you two reasons you should stop caring along with five ways to begin that journey.

4 problematic statements and how to overcome them:

Sometimes our own limiting beliefs keep us stuck and focused on what others want versus what we want. Here are some problem statements and what you can say/think instead.

And if you want to dive deeper into your limiting beliefs and how to overcome them, check out this self-awareness planner here.

  1. Problematic Statement #1: Are you sure that is what you want to do? It’s hard to be successful as an ______ (fill in the blank)

Instead: It is already mine and there is no other way. 

It’s about reframing the thoughts others are trying to impose on you and remembering that you are the ultimate decider on whether or not you will be successful at something.

If you thought it, then it is YOURS. 

  1. Problematic Statement #2: Okay, but make sure you have a plan b and c.

Instead: Plan A is all I need. 

When you have a plan B and C (next to your plan A) then without realizing it, you are only giving 30 to 50% to that plan A. You are simply going into your dream already anticipating that it won’t work out. 

If you look at the autobiography of Oprah or Steve Harvey or Denzel Washington, they did not have any other plan, and stopped at nothing in achieving their goals – and look at them now!

Yes, your trajectory may not be straightforward and will have roadblocks, but that is all a part of the journey.

  1. Problematic Statement #3: What makes you think you can do that?

Instead: what makes you think you can’t? 

This ties to people trying to impose their own belief on themselves onto you. If others are able to do the things you want to do, why would you be any different?

Don’t forget that your thoughts are powerful. When you KNOW you can, you will begin to see massive shifts and universal hints guiding you on your path. Keep that in sight, always.

  1. Problematic Statement #4: We all can’t get everything we want. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.

Instead: We get what is meant for us – and this is meant for me.

I am a strong believer in that if you think of something and can’t get it out of your head – then that thing is there FOR YOU. You are getting hints from your intuition that something is not right and there is something more for you.

So, reframe those words, and remind yourself that this indeed is meant for me. Now it’s time for me to take the inspired action necessary to start seeing it manifest into the 3D form.

How to stop caring – it’s hurting you too much:

The problem with caring too much is that it then has the ability to dictate the actions you take. You stop listening to your voice and instead focus on that of others.

#1. You stop going after your dreams:

This is what it’s about, being able to walk a life’s path that truly calls your soul. But with others trying to whisper their own insecurities into your ears, it’s a recipe for failure or never even trying. 

Now yes, listen to those you share your thoughts with but take it with a grain of salt. Don’t assume that what they say is the way that it has to be.

On the other hand, they may not be saying anything to you, but instead you are afraid of what they would potentially say that you don’t start that online business or start school for cosmetology. 

At this point, it’s you letting the “what will they say” thoughts prevent you from doing what you want to do. This is easy to happen when seeking approval from parents, or a boss.

#2. You start to lack trust with yourself:

Naturally, when you quiet your own intuition and listen to others, you begin to lose trust in yourself. You question your own ability to do what is right for you.

What is hard is not fully knowing what all is encompassed in the path to get there. It’s being scared and fearful of the roadblocks being so powerful that you quit part way through.

But if you walk into it with those thoughts from the beginning, then you are already setting yourself up for failure. That is how we quickly lose that trust within ourselves.

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5 ways on how to stop caring:

  1. Develop strong self love: it all starts from here!

When you have self-love, you have self-care. That includes caring for your mindset/ thoughts, your physical body and soul desires. That is watering it and nurturing it with the right metaphorical nutrients.

The reason why having this allows you to stop caring, is that you then know your purpose super crystal clear. You have worked on identifying why the things you want in your life are so crucial and shall come to life.

With self-love, you set your boundaries and you know your worth, so much so that other’s opinions cannot break that. That is how to stop caring in a powerful way!

  1. Know it comes from them not you: this acknowledges the fact that people project what they don’t have, or failed at getting themselves.

Think about it, the people who often give you advice to not pursue x dream or tell you that it’s not possible, are typically people who don’t have a happy or “successful” life. They are people who struggle with commitment and let fear prevent them from doing the things they want to do.

This is your reminder, that their opinion stems from something THEY are lacking. A perfect example, when I began my business pursuits (though it came from a good place), I would often hear family members say that is hard to achieve and isn’t for everyone. 

At first, I would let it get to me, but what I realized is that their advice comes from them letting go of their dreams when life got tough. It’s simply a projection.

  1. Understand and stay true to values: spend some time clearly identifying your values.

Here you should be thinking about your values as a partner, mom, boss etc. You need to understand whether you value honesty, love, relationships etc. 

When you do this, you begin to build a framework to your beliefs and thoughts. So that when a fear or insecurity kicks in, you can go back to whether or not this is obeying your value of say: perseverance.

When it is not, then it’s your task to reframe those thoughts and beliefs to that which align with those values. It’s about staying true to you.

  1. If not you, then who: this is YOUR life to live.

Someone will give you their opinion and then go back home to their life while you lay your head down making a decision on someone else’s thoughts. And to think that those decisions are dictating your life path, the way your life will look and feel not just now but 5 and 10 years down the line.

What you need to remember and focus on is the fact that this is ultimately your life. Your kids, your bills, your home, your marriage etc. So why not take it on in a way that feels most genuine to you?

  1. Accept disagreement, disapproval and anticipate it: you don’t need to agree with everyone.

Disagreement is okay, as is disapproval. Walk life knowing it and accepting it as you elevate to all sorts of new levels in your life. There will be people who disagree but still stick around for the ride while others won’t. You can’t manage or decide that or make a decision because of it. 

I challenge you to embrace disagreement and know that not everyone is meant to understand what is for you. Their own experience skews this, and intentionally or unintentionally, gets transmitted to you via conversations. 

What is meant for you, is meant for YOU.

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When you stop caring, you start living!

I want to be clear that it’s okay to seek advice and hear people out. What is not okay, is listening to their words despite feeling like it doesn’t truly resonate with you. Also, it’s not okay to not do something because you fear what they will say. 

This is what would leave you with thoughts of, “if I had just got on the plane and followed my dreams” or “if I had just pursued my love of crocheting and turned it into a business.”

I believe we are all here with a purpose and to discover it, means to listen to ourselves. And seek approval from ourselves and not others. This is how to stop caring so much, begin your journey.

Please share below your experience with listening to others or letting fear of what they will say stop you from doing something?

For daily inspo, you can find me over on Instagram @itnellyalba

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