We Don’t Need to Be Fixed: A Conversation with Autism Expert, Author and Life Coach Susanna Peace Lovell – Episode 62

Life coach and autism expert Susanna Peace Lovell on the back to her podcast cover

Welcome to the Back to HER podcast with Nelly Alba, where we explore ways to care for yourself as a mom.

In this episode, I sit down with Susanna Peace Lovell, an autism expert, author, life coach and mom to A. Join us as we delve into Susanna’s journey, her insights, and the transformative power of embracing imperfection.

Episode Highlights:

  1. Perfectionism vs. Reality:
    • Susanna shares her journey of transitioning from a perfectionist mindset, thinking she could prepare for motherhood through conventional means, to the reality of her daughter’s complex needs, including food allergies, asthma, auditory processing difficulties, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, and anxiety disorder. She realized that she didn’t have all the resources to best support her (yet at the time).
  2. The “Fixing” Myth:
    • Facing the unexpected challenges with her daughter’s conditions, Susanna realized the fallacy of trying to “fix” either her daughter or herself. This realization sparked a profound shift in her perspective. You may need extra support but there is nothing “wrong” with you.
  3. The Toolbox Approach:
    • Susanna emphasizes the importance of adopting a toolbox mindset, wherein parents try different strategies and approaches to find what works best for their child’s unique needs. This approach extends beyond parenting and applies to self-care as well. And remembering that different seasons call for different tools.
  4. Setting Boundaries and Self-Compassion:
    • Susanna discusses the significance of setting boundaries, learning to say no, and practicing self-compassion. She highlights the importance of being kinder to oneself, especially in the face of adversity.
  5. Embracing Discomfort:
    • Getting uncomfortable with being uncomfortable is a crucial aspect of personal growth, according to Susanna. She encourages listeners to lean into discomfort as a catalyst for positive change.
  6. Shifting Perspectives:
    • Susanna shares a transformative insight: what may seem to be happening “to you” is actually happening “for you.” This shift in perspective has profound implications for navigating life’s challenges.


  • 1:50 – Talk to us about you, your story, and what brought you to the work you are doing today
  • 4:42 – Highlight what were some of the biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?
  • 8:35 – We don’t need to be “fixed,” we are perfect the way we are – please explain this a bit more.
  • 12:45 – How do you stay afloat when things are just hard (and you don’t want to be impatient, angry all the time etc.)? How do you work on your inner self?
  • 17:35 – What are 2 specific self care practices (or tools) mom can use if they want to add more care tomorrow?
  • 22:50 – Talk about your book – Who is it for? Why did you write it?
  • 26:10 – One piece of advice that you would give a mom starting her motherhood journey?
  • 28:25 – Where can people connect with you and find you?

Key Takeaways

  • Embrace imperfection and let go of the urge to “fix” oneself or others.
  • Cultivate a toolbox mindset, experimenting with different strategies to find what works best.
  • Prioritize self-compassion and set boundaries to maintain personal well-being.
  • Lean into discomfort as a pathway to growth and transformation.
  • Shift perspectives to see challenges as opportunities for learning and growth.


Join us next time for another enlightening conversation. Remember, we don’t need to be fixed; we’re perfectly imperfect just as we are.

Connect with Susanna Peace Lovell:

Free Self Discovery Journal:

If you liked this episode, go check out some others –

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